I had an experience awhile back when one of my best friends from high school started a chat with me on Facebook.  He had said that he was in Europe and had been mugged.  He had lost everything.  I do not remember a lot of the details but he really needed some money sent over so he could fly home.  He had tried emailing his parents and connecting with others on Facebook but I was the first to respond.  A minute later another friend starting chatting with me asking “did you hear about…”  He was telling me the same stuff and had said that he had called the hotel and found out that it was true, my friend really was in Europe.  I had bought in to it about 95% and was ready to start talking how to send the money, but I decided just in case that I would call his cell phone to make sure.  I called him and, sure enough, he was sitting at his house in the US watching T.V.  His account was hacked and the hacker had several people worried.

This example is obviously a hacking issue that we can best defend by having hard to guess passwords and changing those password often, but it brings us back to reality a bit.  It reminds us that NOTHING we put online, especially on social networking sites, is 100% safe.

There are two documents that I would like to point you to and recommend that you read.  These documents will give you some hints and expertise to best protect yourself and be able to teach youth and parents how to protect themselves also.  Then I will give you a few ways that you can get that information out.

USCCB – Social Media Guidelines

A document put out by the US Conference of Catholic Bishops.  Gives guidelines for church staff and personnel.  Includes more than just Facebook, but personal websites, blogs, and more.

Facebook Privacy Guide

This is a document put out by Social Times and it gives credit to www.allfacebook.com. It has some great insight into the current Facebook Privacy Settings.

Now how to get the message out…

Create a Policy

The USCCB gives guidelines for some of these policies.  But setting boundaries for yourself and your volunteers will send a positive message to the youth.  I heard a parent once tell me they would LOVE it if a priest or youth minister connected with their child on Facebook.  Decide how you want to use Facebook in your ministry and then get the word out to the youth and parents.  Remember to include the ‘WHY?’

Do a youth group lesson

This may seem obvious but offer a youth group lesson on it.  As part of the lesson include a take home challenge for the youth that includes informing the parents.

Put a Series in the Bulletin

Parents want to know these things.  Give them the information they need to be able to have these conversations with their children.  Show them the danger that their child is in and they are more likely to help.  Ask your priest if you can have a corner in the bulletin every week for 3-4 weeks stating facts about abuse through Facebook and how to use it wisely.

Offer An Evening

One of the things that the USCCB mentions is making sure parents receive anything you would send to their youth through Facebook.  Host a supper or other gathering, do whatever you can to get the youth and parents there, and simply have an evening for discussion.

Our youth are exposed to a completely different world than most adults now will ever understand.  The important thing to understand is when it comes time to react to something that happens, youth are more vulnerable because they do not understand.   We MUST have these conversations.

We will provide resources as we find them here on our site.  Please let us know if you find any.  Also if you have other creative ways to bring awareness of this to a parish, share it in the comments section below!

Enjoy!

I have discovered a way to save facebook conversations to your computer. This would be helpful for many reasons, but the main one being that you can protect yourself from wrongful allegations regarding your conversations with youth. If a youth says you said something in facebook chat, you can pull an unedited script.

I am sure there are other ways to do it, but here is the way that I have discovered and will use.

You can archive all conversations through Facebook chat by connecting your Facebook account to an AIM account.  If you do not know what AIM is, it is similar to Facebook chat except it’s it own little program.  It is similar to MSN Messenger or Yahoo Messenger if you have used those before.

Here’s how you do it.

Download AIM

Go to http://products.aim.com/ and download AIM.  You will need to set up a username and password.  I would recommend using your own email account and not have them create one for you.

Set Up Facebook Chat

Once your window is open and you can see your buddy list on AIM, click on MENU, and click on SETTINGS.  In your settings you will see a meny item called Facebook Chat.  Go through the steps to connect your facebook account.  By doing this, you are giving AIM rights to sign in to your Facebook account for the use you are suggesting.  If you are worried about this, know that AIM is a product of AOL which has a strong reputation to uphold.

Set Up Archive

Within the same settings menu, you can click on IM Archives.  In there you will need to check the box to Archive chats and IM’s.  Then you can choose a place where these will be stored on your computer.

Test It Out!

You should now be able to see all your Facebook friends in the AIM window and you can start a conversation with them.  What you will find is that the conversation will be held in both AIM and Facebook.  You will want to do everything through AIM so that it documents it there.   Test it out by having a conversation with someone.  To see the archive, you just right click on the person you want to see and click on SHOW IM ARCHIVE.

If everything is working correctly, you will see something like this open up in your web browser.  Some it is chopped off for space reasons and I have put red in spots that I wanted to remain private.  But you get the idea.

One thing that shook up many of our volunteers is that the training suggests ‘NOT’ having a facebook page and, if you do, ‘NOT’ connecting with the youth in the parish that are under 18. They had some very good points, but anyone who is involved in youth ministry, probably understands the effect Facebook has had on networking and connecting with youth. This article will be on how to make sure you are protecting yourself while still connecting with the youth.

To be blunt, some of the best connections I have made with the youth in our program has been through Facebook chat. The youth are sitting on their computer, thinking and bored, and have a lot on their mind. It’s as convenient as can be to chat once they see their youth minister or volunteer online. There is a sense of relief when they are looking for someone they can trust and they find them.

But is this safe? I have heard many horror stories of simple allegations that have led to a volunteer or paid youth leader getting fired by something a youth ‘said’ happened. Here is my quick ‘play it safe’ guide for those who truly want to protect themselves.

1. Don’t Set Yourself Up

If you are worried about protecting yourself, than just do not put yourself in that situation. Facebook is great, but you do not need it be a great volunteer. Learn more ways to connect with the youth and use your time you have with them wisely. A volunteer that goes to school or parish events to support the youth is doing much more than one could ever do on Facebook.

2. Use Other Means

If your youth director does not have other ways for you to connect online with the youth, it is time that they do. There are tons of other ways to connect with the youth. If your youth group has a web page, work on getting a section where there are discussions and anyone can post. Make sure your youth leader is also emailing anything that is being passed around and talked about online. Sign up for other networking sites that do not offer private chat or messaging like Twitter.

3. Use Facebook Safely

Since you are reading this, you probably already have a facebook account. You can still have one and just network in ways that are safe. Have the youth minister set up a Fan Page. These are pages where everything is public, people can chat, there is a spot for discussions, and more. It is also a great way to create events and invite people to those events.

It is not rude to let youth know that you have a policy about being friends with them on Facebook. It would not even hurt to ask the youth minister to take the heat of it and set the rule for all of the volunteers. Encourage the youth to make a phone call if needed to or to pull you aside during your weekly meeting. Best thing you can do is to remind them that you care and show them your support.

If you are not too worried about protecting yourself from false allegations or rumors using facebook, at least do your best to keep things public. Be cautious of youth that you do not know too well yet and just be smart.

Please discuss any other concerns or ideas you have below!